the romantic world falls subject to questioning

another monday already. feeling better. my "dog" as we called it (my cough) has almost lost his raspy voice! thank you friends, for your prayers.

today has been an interesting day. my heart and my mind have been burdened...perplexed as I wrestle with issues that are emerging...in class and in the context of life in Africa. wondering since this morning's politics class how an african mind can conceive to shed his neighbor's blood for the sole sake of tribal heritage? in my old testament tutorial, a class full of pre-law students mind you, heated, heartless and seemingly unchristian arguments arose from scenerios presented by our lecturer. in thinking about joseph for instance, and the betrayal of his brothers, the question was posed, what would you do if a man who had betrayed you lay dying and you were the only one who could help him? interesting that the fact that this dying man wasn't kin made it a while different issue. i do not want to present these classmates as brutish, for african students as i have known them these last few weeks have been very hospitable (and even after class I had a lovely introductory chat with one of the most pronounced, and opinionated students in the tutorial), but good grief, there was no sense of compassion, or grace to be felt in that classroom, "eye for an eye" was shouted from one end to another, with few suggesting the idea of forgiveness! from here, i met with a class to discuss the matter of Christ's relevance in our world, and in light of a traditional african world view. oh and the questions flowed...questions that have too easy of an answer in a western university theology classroom. what would one say of God's love and providence to a starving child, to a mother who has lost a handful of children, to those now in kenya who are caught in the midst of horrific atrocities? I delight in the fact that Christ is present, that he not only sympathizes, but understands suffering. yet...it doesn't make the problem of evil any less difficult...and it doesn't necessarily make a sufficient response when, as a white want-a-be missionary, i may be asked to explain Christ to someone who as KNOWN suffering as I have only had nightmares about. And how does one explain affluence in one hemisphere and poverty in another? Where is God's hand in that?
I don't know. I don't have answers to so many questions, questions that take on a whole new character when you see Africa outside the windows of your eyes. I don't expect you to answer these questions for me...but seek them out...don't be satisfied with a complacent faith! Dig into the issues of the world and ask why! Pray, discuss, and ask where that discussion should end, and where action in response should begin! I'm frustrated a bit with Uganda today, with the world, with God and my finite being. I pray that God would meet me, and so many other students who are wrestling with these very relevant and at-hand issues, that He would show us Himself in the midst of suffering here, would show us how we might possibly have a hand in it, that He would grant my mind and heart peace about my rational for "coming in" as one who is privileged to share Christ's compassion, that I would have a better hope and idea of what it means to truly do His will (whatever that means, since oh how colored our theology is by our culture and perception of the world).

May God bless you this day, I pray that you might see how truly blessed you are, and that you might ask why...are we blessed solely to bless others? is following Christ, and understanding His relevance, expressed in living completely for others? what do we do in light of the fact that such a mission is impossible? I don't know...ahh...I just pray (and sincerely so even in thinking about how we may really not deserve it because of our abundance to begin with...)that you are blessed today.